Owen is one of countless men who are attracted to trans women but are too afraid to say so publicly. If found out again, he’s afraid he’d be ostracized completely, “scarlet letter style.”

The trauma of being shamed by his ex has marked him with paranoia. He doesn’t really know where to meet trans women, and if his next girlfriend is a cis woman, he expects to keep this secret from her. He’d love to have a healthy, public relationship with a trans woman. “It just made me desire trans women more,” Owen said. “I unfollowed all the trans girls on Instagram and Twitter.” He stopped watching trans porn, too.īut abstinence was ineffective. “I immediately tried to change, six plus years of loving myself,” he said. But the shame he received from his girlfriend made him question himself. Owen lives in Upstate New York, and was taught to respect trans people from an early age, he said. Though she didn’t say, Owen knows why: “What did my attraction to trans women have to do with my attraction to her, a cis woman?”